Monthly Archives: November 2012

Christian Dating and Religion

 

Christian Dating someone means knowing and accepting the person for who he or she is. This would mean things like family background, educational attainment, career, and his or her views or life’s more “vital issues”.

One aspect worth taking into consideration is Religious Background. With so many people practising different religions, it is inevitable that you will date someone with a different religion from yours. While this may easily be overlooked at the onset, it has to be given some serious thought especially if marriage is a part of your future plan.

So what issues need to be ironed out when it comes to religious differences?

First of all, you need to ask the question: How important is it to you? Are you comfortable marrying someone who practises a different religion? If you’re dating, you would most likely have an “ideal man” (or woman). Does religion rank at the top of your list? Or is it even there at all? Do you want your future spouse to share the same Faith as yours? And remember to be honest when answering.

Although these questions may be “fundamental” to some, keep in mind that a lot of people live their lives according to their faith. This means that they would practise certain virtues or avoid some things. Things which they consider “vices”-although to you, it isn’t Why not observe how they live. And ask yourself if you’re okay with it.

And although you’ve made a “list” of what you want in a life partner, remember that this is hardly followed. Think about it: have you ever known anyone to follow that list to the letter? Chances are that they made an exception for at least one item. This is because choosing a mate involves using both your head and your heart. It’s a balance between the two. Most women for example say they want someone who is “tall, dark and handsome”. But many of these same women end up with the opposite. This is because they saw something special in the man they married.

The same holds true for religion. Know whether or not you’re comfortable with the religious difference. If the difference makes you do things like “justify this to your family”, then think twice.

And think about your future children. What religion will they be practising? Would this be a problem for the both of you? This is assuming of course that neither of you is going to “convert” to either one’s religion in the near future.

Bottom line: Get to know the person you’re dating. And learn to look at the entire person and not just the parts.

 

Is Your Christian Date ‘Marriage Worthy’?

You’ve been dating this single Christian for a few years now. Things are fantastic between the two of you. Sure, you may get into a fight every now and then but that’s all part of it, right?
What’s important is that your Christian date is a person that loves you. And you love them as well. What’s even more fascinating is that your relationship is going somewhere. Marriage has come up at one time or another. Kids and other “essentials” are likewise part of the discussion.

Of course, dating is different from marriage. This is a lifetime commitment for Christians. It entails even bigger responsibilities than just remembering your anniversary. Forgetting your little girl’s graduation means a lot more than forgetting your “monthly anniversary” when you were starting out.

Such thoughts beg the question: how will I know if indeed he is “marriage worthy”. Here are some things to consider when answering this question. Oh, you might want to ask yourself the same things as well:

  • Maturity: This isn’t simply about age. A 25 year old lady maybe more mature than another woman twice her age. Maturity is about being able to take responsibility for one’s actions. By the same token, it involves one’s ability to cope with everyday situations, especially the “pressure cookers”. How you respond to pressure shows how mature you are. A person who easily shrinks from his responsibilities isn’t exactly mature. No matter how old he is.
  • Ability to forgive: Pride is one of the worst enemies of any relationship. We all make mistakes. What’s important is that we can forgive others for those mistakes. It isn’t tolerating every indiscretion or infidelity. That is an entirely different story altogether. Any two people in a relationship will inevitably get into an argument or worse, a major fight. What’s important is that they have the ability to bring back whatever sweetness was shared before the squabble. And being able to forgive and forget is key. Without it, the relationship is bound to fail.
  • The ability to change for the better: As mentioned earlier, we all make mistakes. By the same token, we all have our imperfections. Are we willing to improve on those things that can be improved? Things such as a bad temper. Or those awful habits. Changing for the better not just for our partner but for ourselves as well. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to get rid of those bad habits once and for all?
  • Acceptance: We all have our faults. Can we accept our partner for who they are? Of course, we’re talking about what’s truly acceptable here. Can you? Does he accept the “whole” you”?

These are just some considerations when contemplating if you and your partner are “marriage worthy”. Remember that Christian dating is your chance to see if the two of you are a good fit. There are no wrong and right answers. Just be honest and you’ll be fine.

Christian Dates To Remember

Just like anything else in life, Christian dating has its good times and bad times.
Bad dates are dates that we’d rather forget and just charge to experience all because the man or woman was horrendous or the date itself was a disaster.

Then there are the good dates—those that we’d love to play in our heads over and over again, those that we’d wished had never ended. Well, these aren’t exactly a rarity and can happen, given the right things to remember when going out on a date.

The best Christian dates are the simple ones: simple, not too much garb and definitely fun and just being yourself. Not too many questions and just spontaneous conversation. It really helps too if you get along well with the person you are dating.

These Christian dates could either be “spur of the moment” or planned a few weeks before. Take note though that too much planning does not a good date make. In fact, it can actually ruin it as planning way ahead and too much can raise expectations—imagining how things should be only to discover that your date ends in disaster. While it is definitely OK to prepare—clothes, hair, some questions you may like to ask in the name of getting to know your date, don’t draft your speech. Just let things flow.

Formality, or too much of it, can also ruin a perfectly good date. Christian Dating is supposed to be fun, light and done in order to get to know someone. Don’t worry about the little details. Let them work themselves out—things like who pays the bill, where to eat, etc. Again, just let things flow.

In order to let things flow though, some useful tips may just spell the difference between a great date and dating that ends in disappointment.

  • Greet your date like you’ve known him/her for quite some time now: as mentioned earlier, too many formalities only spoil the fun.
  • Give each one a chance to just talk: if you’re the talkative type, control yourself and listen more. If you’re the quiet type, use your tongue a little more. But just let the conversation flow.
  • Keep it short. First Christian dates are usually short: only for a few hours to give you that “anticipation” for the next one—they are simply meeting the person really. Like his her company and vice-versa? That’s what second dates are for.

And it doesn’t really matter where you go—a stroll in the park can be just as impressive as dinner at a five-star hotel. The important thing really is having fun while dating. That best Christian date could just be the start of a lot more “best dates” to come.